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25 funny fish jokes

Everyone knows that anglers like to tell fish stories. But did you know they can tell fish jokes, too? Check out these 25 funny fishing jokes and then send us your funniest fishing jokes.

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A book never written: “Saltwater Fishing” by Barry Cuda.

Submitted by Jacob S. , Tampa, Fla.


Max: What kind of music should you listen to while fishing?
Nick: Beats me.
Max: Something catchy!

Submitted by Max K. , Elizabethtown, Pa.


Matt: What do you get when you cross a fishing lure with a gym sock?
Rick: I don’t know. What?
Matt: A hook, line and stinker!

Submitted by Matthew K. , Omaha, Neb.


Daffynition: Fishing dock—A surgeon on vacation.

Submitted by Brendan G. , Omaha, Neb.


Little Eddy and his mom were digging for fishing bait in the garden. Uncovering a many-legged creature, Eddy proudly dangled it before his mom.

“No, honey, it won’t do for bait,” she said. “It’s not an earthworm.”

“It’s not?” Eddy asked, his eyes wide. “What planet is it from?”

Submitted by Chase B. , Carrollton, Ga.


Superboy: Why did Batman and Robin quit going fishing together?
Superman: Why?
Superboy: Because Robin ate all the worms!

Submitted by Keersten H. , Naperville, Ill.


Jack: Why didn’t Noah do much fishing on the ark?
Jill: Search me. Why?
Jack: He had only two worms.

Submitted by Joey M. , Akron, Ohio


Game warden: Didn’t you see the no-fishing sign, son?
Boy: I’m not fishing, sir. I’m teaching these worms how to swim!

Submitted by Josh Y. , Lake Forest, Ill.


Alex: What do you call a fish that won’t shut up?
Danielle: I’m stumped.
Alex: A big-mouthed bass!

Submitted by Alex S. , Racine, Wis.


Tom Swiftie: “Pass me the shellfish,” Tom said crabbily.

Submitted by Noah W. , Fremont, Calif.


A book never written: “How to Fish” by Will Ketchum.

Submitted by Jordan T. , Ozark, Ala.


Ben: Where do goldfish go on vacation?
Bob: Where?
Ben: Around the globe!

Submitted by Ben D. , San Luis Obispo, Calif.


Aaron: How do fish get from place to place while playing golf?
Pee Wee: I don’t know. How?
Aaron: By golf carp!

Submitted by Aaron C. , Fayetteville, N.C.


Jaylun: Why do fish swim in schools?
Ray: I don’t know.
Jaylun: Because they can’t walk!

Submitted by Jaylun R. , Greensboro, N.C.


Allen: Why is it so easy to weigh fish?
Neal: I don’t know. Why?
Allen: Because they have their own scales!

Submitted by Ashwin B. , Morris Plains, N.J.


Mark: Where do fish keep their money?
Kevin: Where?
Mark: In a riverbank.

Submitted by Tony L. , Spokane, Wash.


Thomas: How do you communicate with a fish?
Russ: I don’t know.
Thomas: Drop it a line!

Submitted by Thomas H. , Annapolis, Md.


A monastery is in financial trouble, so it goes into the fish-and-chips business to raise money. One night a customer knocks on its door. A monk answers. The customer asks, “Are you the fish friar?”

“No,” he replies. “I’m the chip monk.”

Submitted by Max H. , Clearwater, Fla.


Maurice: Where does a fisherman go to get his hair cut?
Denise: Where?
Maurice: The bobber shop.

Submitted by Maurice P. , Hesston, Kan.


Ben: What’s a fish’s favorite musical instrument?
Morgan: What?
Ben: A bass drum.

Submitted by Ben T. , Olney, Ill.


Tom Swiftie: “Help me reel in this fish!” Tom wailed.

Submitted by Sean K. , Salem, N.H.


Diner: Waiter, waiter, what’s wrong with this fish?
Waiter: Long time no sea, sir.

Submitted by Jerry L. , Dublin, Ohio.


John: What is a fish’s favorite show?
Don: What?
John: “Name That Tuna.”

Submitted by John D. , San Antonio, Tex.


Tom: What does every fisherman want?
Terry: What?
Tom: A gillfriend.

Submitted by Tommy Lee S. , Warren, Pa.


A.J.: Did you hear about the fight at the seafood restaurant?
Nico: No, what happened?
A.J.: Two fish got battered!

Submitted by A.J. G. , Aransas Pass, Tex.


46 Comments on 25 funny fish jokes

  1. I like the “what do you call a fish who won’t shut up”.

  2. Funny very funny.

  3. my dad din’t like then

  4. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha tis funny stuff

  5. Something fishy is going on with these jokes

  6. what is the saddest fish in the sea? A Blue Whale!

  7. THAT THIS IS A FUN THAG

  8. George: What do you call a magazine with lame fish jokes?
    Bill: What?
    George: Boys With No Life

  9. hahahahahahahaha what do you call a fish that eats?

    a bob cat

  10. UGABUG:What do you call a fish that has a sun burn?
    Joe: I don`t now.
    A sun fish!
    Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

  11. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ah

  12. I like this thank friend go fish with?

  13. fish me like fish yah hahahahaahahahahahhaha

  14. Leave a Reply // April 29, 2013 at 6:03 pm // Reply

    LOL!

  15. i like the monestary one i told it to my granfather who is a preacher while he was in africa by email and he said eyrey one laughed out loud when he told it to them

  16. What do you get when you cross a group of dolphins with a computer tablet.
    An I pod

  17. awesomeness // July 1, 2013 at 3:12 pm // Reply

    I liked the one with Noah and the Ark

  18. Jim bob thorton heezle // July 3, 2013 at 12:31 pm // Reply

    lol real funny ya!!!!!

  19. billy bob thorton jimmy heezle // July 5, 2013 at 11:48 am // Reply

    real funny stuff ya!!!!!

  20. Sachmad igg // August 15, 2013 at 4:10 pm // Reply

    What do you call a fish with no eye? ..

    FSHHHHH

  21. loollololololololololololololololololo hahahahhahahahahahah =)=)=)

  22. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh , fishishhhhhhhhhhhhh

  23. LOL x 10!!!!

  24. LOL times a million

  25. very nice jokes // September 16, 2013 at 12:16 am // Reply

    hahahahahhahahaha

  26. these r so funny :)

  27. Why don’t clams ever share with the other fish?

    Because they’re shellfish!

    *can use lobster or a shellfish other than clam

  28. What do you call a fashion conscious crab
    A snappy dresser

  29. I was checking when I was laughing. The jokes were funny.

  30. Wow. Ummmmmm………… very intersting.

  31. The best one was the what do you get when you cross a line with a gym sock

  32. mistymistymisty // April 2, 2014 at 1:01 pm // Reply

    lol lol lol lol lol lol lol

  33. love jokes // May 18, 2014 at 4:45 pm // Reply

    how do you stop a fish from smelling bad?
    Answer= by covering its nose hahaha lol

  34. coasteralex // July 31, 2014 at 9:06 pm // Reply

    LOL

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