25 funny fish jokes

fishing_300Everyone knows that anglers like to tell fish stories. But did you know they can tell fish jokes, too? Check out these 25 funny fishing jokes and then send us your funniest fishing jokes.

A book never written: “Saltwater Fishing” by Barry Cuda.

Submitted by Jacob S. , Tampa, Fla.

Max: What kind of music should you listen to while fishing?
Nick: Beats me.
Max: Something catchy!

Submitted by Max K. , Elizabethtown, Pa.

Matt: What do you get when you cross a fishing lure with a gym sock?
Rick: I don’t know. What?
Matt: A hook, line and stinker!

Submitted by Matthew K. , Omaha, Neb.

Daffynition: Fishing dock—A surgeon on vacation.

Submitted by Brendan G. , Omaha, Neb.

Little Eddy and his mom were digging for fishing bait in the garden. Uncovering a many-legged creature, Eddy proudly dangled it before his mom.

“No, honey, it won’t do for bait,” she said. “It’s not an earthworm.”

“It’s not?” Eddy asked, his eyes wide. “What planet is it from?”

Submitted by Chase B. , Carrollton, Ga.

Superboy: Why did Batman and Robin quit going fishing together?
Superman: Why?
Superboy: Because Robin ate all the worms!

Submitted by Keersten H. , Naperville, Ill.

Jack: Why didn’t Noah do much fishing on the ark?
Jill: Search me. Why?
Jack: He had only two worms.

Submitted by Joey M. , Akron, Ohio

Game warden: Didn’t you see the no-fishing sign, son?
Boy: I’m not fishing, sir. I’m teaching these worms how to swim!

Submitted by Josh Y. , Lake Forest, Ill.

Alex: What do you call a fish that won’t shut up?
Danielle: I’m stumped.
Alex: A big-mouthed bass!

Submitted by Alex S. , Racine, Wis.

Tom Swiftie: “Pass me the shellfish,” Tom said crabbily.

Submitted by Noah W. , Fremont, Calif.

A book never written: “How to Fish” by Will Ketchum.

Submitted by Jordan T. , Ozark, Ala.

Ben: Where do goldfish go on vacation?
Bob: Where?
Ben: Around the globe!

Submitted by Ben D. , San Luis Obispo, Calif.

Aaron: How do fish get from place to place while playing golf?
Pee Wee: I don’t know. How?
Aaron: By golf carp!

Submitted by Aaron C. , Fayetteville, N.C.

Jaylun: Why do fish swim in schools?
Ray: I don’t know.
Jaylun: Because they can’t walk!

Submitted by Jaylun R. , Greensboro, N.C.

Allen: Why is it so easy to weigh fish?
Neal: I don’t know. Why?
Allen: Because they have their own scales!

Submitted by Ashwin B. , Morris Plains, N.J.

Mark: Where do fish keep their money?
Kevin: Where?
Mark: In a riverbank.

Submitted by Tony L. , Spokane, Wash.

Thomas: How do you communicate with a fish?
Russ: I don’t know.
Thomas: Drop it a line!

Submitted by Thomas H. , Annapolis, Md.

A monastery is in financial trouble, so it goes into the fish-and-chips business to raise money. One night a customer knocks on its door. A monk answers. The customer asks, “Are you the fish friar?”

“No,” he replies. “I’m the chip monk.”

Submitted by Max H. , Clearwater, Fla.

Maurice: Where does a fisherman go to get his hair cut?
Denise: Where?
Maurice: The bobber shop.

Submitted by Maurice P. , Hesston, Kan.

Ben: What’s a fish’s favorite musical instrument?
Morgan: What?
Ben: A bass drum.

Submitted by Ben T. , Olney, Ill.

Tom Swiftie: “Help me reel in this fish!” Tom wailed.

Submitted by Sean K. , Salem, N.H.

Diner: Waiter, waiter, what’s wrong with this fish?
Waiter: Long time no sea, sir.

Submitted by Jerry L. , Dublin, Ohio.

John: What is a fish’s favorite show?
Don: What?
John: “Name That Tuna.”

Submitted by John D. , San Antonio, Tex.

Tom: What does every fisherman want?
Terry: What?
Tom: A gillfriend.

Submitted by Tommy Lee S. , Warren, Pa.

A.J.: Did you hear about the fight at the seafood restaurant?
Nico: No, what happened?
A.J.: Two fish got battered!

Submitted by A.J. G. , Aransas Pass, Tex.


42 Responses to “25 funny fish jokes”

  1. Lucas
    March 23, 2013 at 10:18 am #

    I like the “what do you call a fish who won’t shut up”.

  2. ry
    March 23, 2013 at 9:49 pm #

    Funny very funny.

  3. ry
    March 23, 2013 at 9:51 pm #

    my dad din’t like then

  4. bob
    March 24, 2013 at 4:56 pm #

    Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha tis funny stuff

    March 25, 2013 at 11:07 pm #

    Something fishy is going on with these jokes

  6. dude
    March 29, 2013 at 5:15 pm #

    what is the saddest fish in the sea? A Blue Whale!

    • Anonymous
      April 24, 2013 at 3:56 pm #

      I know one
      I know one fish

    • Anonymous
      May 16, 2013 at 12:18 am #

      a whales not a fish

      • Anonymous
        August 31, 2013 at 9:20 pm #


  7. JOSH
    March 29, 2013 at 5:26 pm #


  8. Bill
    April 2, 2013 at 5:32 pm #

    George: What do you call a magazine with lame fish jokes?
    Bill: What?
    George: Boys With No Life

    • Aggiegirl
      October 15, 2013 at 11:02 pm #

      Funniest one I’ve heard yet, and guys; learn how to spell. :D

  9. chaseey
    April 3, 2013 at 10:30 am #

    hahahahahahahaha what do you call a fish that eats?

    a bob cat

    • Aggiegirl
      October 15, 2013 at 11:05 pm #

      I don’t comprehend that one. ;D

  10. UGABUG
    April 7, 2013 at 3:00 pm #

    UGABUG:What do you call a fish that has a sun burn?
    Joe: I don`t now.
    A sun fish!
    Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

  11. bro band
    April 13, 2013 at 8:14 am #

    ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ah

    • bro band
      April 13, 2013 at 8:15 am #

      what do you call a fish playing tag

  12. evan
    April 17, 2013 at 10:21 pm #

    I like this thank friend go fish with?

  13. squid
    April 23, 2013 at 8:49 pm #

    fish me like fish yah hahahahaahahahahahhaha

  14. Leave a Reply
    April 29, 2013 at 6:03 pm #


    • Sachmad igg
      August 15, 2013 at 4:10 pm #


  15. webtiger
    May 3, 2013 at 10:06 am #

    i like the monestary one i told it to my granfather who is a preacher while he was in africa by email and he said eyrey one laughed out loud when he told it to them

  16. Gerimia
    June 30, 2013 at 6:59 am #

    What do you get when you cross a group of dolphins with a computer tablet.
    An I pod

  17. awesomeness
    July 1, 2013 at 3:12 pm #

    I liked the one with Noah and the Ark

  18. Jim bob thorton heezle
    July 3, 2013 at 12:31 pm #

    lol real funny ya!!!!!

  19. billy bob thorton jimmy heezle
    July 5, 2013 at 11:48 am #

    real funny stuff ya!!!!!

  20. Sachmad igg
    August 15, 2013 at 4:10 pm #

    What do you call a fish with no eye? ..


  21. good boy 3
    August 15, 2013 at 4:14 pm #

    loollololololololololololololololololo hahahahhahahahahahah =)=)=)

  22. em
    August 22, 2013 at 12:00 pm #

    ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh , fishishhhhhhhhhhhhh

  23. yojo
    August 23, 2013 at 9:17 am #

    LOL x 10!!!!

  24. yojo
    September 16, 2013 at 12:15 am #

    LOL times a million

    • Aggiegirl
      October 15, 2013 at 11:08 pm #


    • Aggiegirl
      October 15, 2013 at 11:08 pm #

      A Million- I counted

  25. very nice jokes
    September 16, 2013 at 12:16 am #


  26. i like pie
    October 30, 2013 at 8:02 pm #

    these r so funny :)

  27. Jess
    December 31, 2013 at 10:07 pm #

    Why don’t clams ever share with the other fish?

    Because they’re shellfish!

    *can use lobster or a shellfish other than clam

  28. Gerimia
    January 19, 2014 at 5:04 pm #

    What do you call a fashion conscious crab
    A snappy dresser

  29. YoYo
    February 28, 2014 at 7:57 pm #

    I was checking when I was laughing. The jokes were funny.

    • YoYo
      February 28, 2014 at 8:06 pm #

      I’m all of these

  30. Anonymous
    March 15, 2014 at 8:19 pm #

    Wow. Ummmmmm………… very intersting.

  31. chanman
    March 23, 2014 at 3:58 pm #

    The best one was the what do you get when you cross a line with a gym sock

  32. mistymistymisty
    April 2, 2014 at 1:01 pm #

    lol lol lol lol lol lol lol

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